Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
/* by tilotiti */
Embracing my body just as it is.
I’ve been going through difficulties about that, even though my body quite fits the standards : I’m tall, thin, have the “feminine curves”, I have a natural tan, really I should have nothing to say about it.
Still I find it difficult to love it, many reasons to that but it’s a fact.
Recently there’s been this whole #SexyDM thing going on, where you send sexy pictures of yourself to people you chose, and they send some of themselves back to you. I’ve learned to look at a body and find it attractive no matter what, I’ve learned to see the beauty in everything, and even in myself : trying to find a cool point of view so I’m satisfied enough with the take that I can send it to others for them to judge, what a weird experience.
And then it’s kind of #DailySexyDM now, so everyday we try to accept our body a little more. Some of us are showing lingerie, others bare legs, we see butts, breasts, everything is beautiful.
And there I was, just waiting for the bath to fill and warm up, naked OF COURSE HEY I WAS GOING TO TAKE A BATH, and talking to my boyfriend at the same time, and he suddenly stopped talking and said “Oh my god you’re so gorgeous right now”, he took my phone and took several pictures. Some of them with my face, and this one for the #DailySexyDM. At first I was like, “ew, no I’m not, you’re so in love with me please stop this biased point of view!”
I discarded all the photos with my face on them, ‘cause really I saw no interest in them, but after that I stopped on this one. And I was like. “fuck yeah”. I put a filter on it so the colours look brighter than they could ever be with artificial and mediocre light in a bathroom.
I love everything in this picture. I love the angle, I love my hair, I love my position, that was absolutely natural (I was indeed talking to my partner sitting like this, with my arms between my legs, conveniently), I love how my legs are crossed, I love the foam on my thigh, I love how the skin folds at the juncture of my thigh and hip, on my belly, I love how my breasts show but hide at the same time, I love how gorgeous my legs look… I really really love everything about this picture.
So I was like: “HEY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I LIKE MYSELF ON A PICTURE, IT’S AWESOME!!”
And I thought it was a shame to keep it just for the few people in our #SexyDM thing, I wanted to show it to the whole world, to put it on my walls, basically I was hysterical with how proud I was with this picture. I decided I wanted to put it in profile picture everywhere I was on the web. Twitter, Tumblr, even Facebook: I am gorgeous for fuck’s sake, why should I hide myself?
Then questions arrived:
- Will I look like a “slut”?
- Will I even care?
- Is it OK? Is it pornographic?
- Would it be wrong if an employer came across this picture?
- What will my friends and family say?
- Is it important?
- Is this picture obscene really?
And I was so ANGRY to even HAVE TO think about this stuff. First I was, “Hey, nothing wrong here: all you can see is that I’m naked, well of course I’m in a bathtub so what did you expect? You cannot see my boobs, my ass, my genitals, so what? You can’t even see my face so who can ever know it’s me?”
But I was still angry with those thoughts. I wanted to think: “Fuck everything! If I want to take nude pictures of me, with tits and pubic hair, who can ever stop me? What would be wrong with that? Isn’t nude an art? Isn’t this photo beautiful?”
I posted it everywhere, included as my Facebook profile picture.
Instantly, one comment: “Is it an existential crisis? What’s this picture?!”, looking shocked. I replied: “Hey, do I have to justify myself? I find this picture awesome, so I show it.” The girl was still shocked and acted like she was concerned about what I was doing with my body, my image, and my e-reputation. I had to reassure her: “I know what I do, I’ve thought it over, I take the full responsibility of this”.
And there she said: “I still think it’s wrong to put it on Facebook. You would’ve put it on Deviantart, I would have agreed, and even said ‘wow, beautiful!’ But on Facebook, I think it’s wrong, people have a different point of view on Facebook, they are different so it’s not OK.”
I was abashed. (and was kinda sad. What, the media is different so the reaction is different? On deviantart OK because we share art things on it, but Facebook no, ew, because Facebook is gross? Wtf?)
"And excuse me but where have I asked for you approval? Am I publishing pornographic pictures here? What is disturbing or wrong in this image? Please tell me. I know exactly what I’m doing, and I don’t want your thinking on this, because I never asked for what you thought about the picture OR the publishing on Facebook. Your approval was not, is not, and never will be, asked on this matter."
She was angry.
And I was angry. Because I don’t need anyone’s ‘go’ on what I do with my body. I never asked her what she thought about it, I just changed my profile picture. I had discussed it over with a few Twitter followers, asking them their opinion, and pieces of advice, and I can’t thank them enough for the strength and the deep thoughts they’ve shared with me.
But to her I asked nothing.
I deleted her comments.
Then other friends commented, and I was so glad to have understanding friends, who immediately understood what all that was about: accepting my body, and being proud of it. Not being ashamed to show it, and being ready to accept commentaries on it. (and NOT on the fact that I’m showing it)
They were all, “wow, this picture is so powerful, you have an amazing body, the picture is wonderful, it shows so much without showing much”, one friend said, “I see modesty, restraint, but also a great amount of sensuality, nude pictures are so beautiful!”
On Twitter, followers were amazing: “Yeah you did it! Whoever is criticizing the fact that you’re publishing this picture isn’t understanding a thing, you’re so pretty, this picture is awesome”: not a single disapproval.
And that, my friends, is great. Internet has helped me accepting my body. Well, not all the time, but that’s quite a HUGE step in my life and my relationship with my body.
I aknowledge having luck with this body: it has everything people want to see. I’m thin, I’m tall, I’m white, I’m a girl. I think that this is a huge privilege and I am aware of it. I’m not saying what I did is easy, and everyone should do it. I’m just saying that I’m proud to have been able to do it, and it’s a great experience.
Thanks to the Internet! <3 love you all.